All my foolish ways
Return to taunt me tonight
As the world grows dark
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
All my foolish ways
Return to taunt me tonight
As the world grows dark
Every success, invigorating;
Every hug, affirming…
I hate my words I hate my thoughts I hate my speech I hate my silence I hate this I hate all of this I can’t stand me why can’t I just die in my sleep I shouldn’t be here I shouldn’t be here I shouldn’t be here I can’t live in this brain I can’t anymore I just can’t I’m too tired it’s too much and I’m just too tired I don’t know how I don’t know how I don’t know how I can’t flip the switch I just can’t flip the switch I can’t I just can’t I can’t, yet I will I will against nature, I will I don’t know how I don’t know how I can’t keep doing this I can’t I can’t I can’t why should I why should they why should they wait any longer why can’t I be brave why why why why why I’m a coward why why why …
Wheels begin to turn
Need takes flight
…
We walk together
I’m squinting under the high afternoon sun
While you’re shielded by the brim of your hat
I’m not saying much but
I’m hanging on your every word
…
Alongside others,
squinting in the noonday sun:
still walking alone
There were friends there.
I think there were so many friends there.
Surrounded, surrounded!
Some smiled with their eyes.
Some surprised me with their remembrance.
Most, I barely knew.
I turn my thoughts backwards, steering into nearby memories…
Waiting so softly with gentle anticipation,
my little fingers explore dangerous city streets
that hide under virtual black and stars.
I’m waiting for the real nightfall to cloak me,
to hold me close between mystery and obfuscation…
when these two meet
love given and love received
trembling hands fall still
.
(Is there anything greater that requited love?)
One day before you’re gone
When the need is too high again
You will need to dry your arm
For a second time
August 5, 2025
12:10 am