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Under the Cedar Trees Posts

I don’t live in the past, but I do learn from it.

I don’t live in my past. I don’t remember it clearly, even. Not most of it. However, that doesn’t stop me from internalizing the mistakes that were made and learning from them. Without even remembering their catalysts, I live and breathe and sweat those lessons today.

I don’t live in the past. What’s gone is gone, but, the past is a part of me today. It strongly indicates the future.

The lessons have been learned, but the action is still missing. Fear needs to be conquered next. The means must be collected. With the means and fearlessness, I can proceed.

A lesson from auto-correct today?

Sometimes I find some hope for myself to become deserving of my life when I find myself changing auto-correct’s assumed “love” back into “live” for what feels like the hundredth time in recent months, and I realize that I communicate far more about loving than I do about living.

I killed it.

I killed an insect on my desk this afternoon.
I’m not sure what it was, but it was probably harmless. 

I could have put it outside.
I could have gently shooed it somewhere else.
But, I didn’t.
I crushed it, with a tissue, so I wouldn’t dirty my fingers.

Now the stink of death lingers in the room, 
and I wonder where my heart’s gone.

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June 4, 2025

At Odds with the Savage

The savage and I are at odds again today.
But, today, I’m not pacifying it. I refuse to play by its rules.
I will not coddle it, cuddle it, kiss it on its forehead today.
Today I resist. I argue. I rail against its every move. 

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June 3, 2025

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