You thief of pleasure
Comfort-robber
You shape-shifter
Grabbing and pinching
Tensing and releasing at your whim
Deceptive enough not to hurt outright
But still wrong enough to be sure I feel you
…
I was riding high
Fully charged
Shining happy
Until the awakening
Then the reservoir ran low
Now I’m reduced to just
Just reduced…
Reduced to…
Reduced
Anglerfish roam my seas with dead bulbs
Ugly as hell with gaping jaws of crooked teeth
They have no enchantment left
So luring nothing they now go hungry
And the darkest words
Are free to swim as they please
If my guardians starve to death
How can I ever come back to safety
December 22-24, 2024
These precious few
I will serve them however I can
They may not want it
They may not ask for it
But whether they like it or not
I’ll give as I can
This is what I am!
This is how I’m human.
I withdraw and hide
Or fall silent for a time
As the need takes me
But I return when I can
With no less love than before
May I never lose to spite and bitterness
The side of me that brings me back
December 24, 2024
Opening the door
Finding a joyful surprise
You’re awake already
Standing right there
Smiling at the sight of me
With your entire self
…
Cold winter stillness
Blues and whites under night skies
Quiets a wild heart
Under cedar boughs
How long can I continue
Half living, half dead
When I find valuable gems
My fingers feel cold
As I reach out
…
I had you all wrong
You were looking out for me this whole time
Loving me in nature’s way
Planting those seeds I cruelly called lies
When I should have been trusting you all along
…
Cannot leave just yet
Cycles repeat and repeat
So much left unsaid
Beast howling
It’s furious tantrum
Reverberates through my skull
It may not be real
But today I made it just real enough
To feel it in my teeth
December 20, 2024
Sunrise not yet here
Moon asks if they’ll die with me
Secret words hidden